Well here's me again. I feel sorta sad that nobody reads this, but what the hell, it's mainly for me I guess. I'm trying to find ways to detach, being like a Budhist type guy, non-resistence (internally), non-attachment, non-judgement. It really works sometimes. Still I am no monk. It's a work in progress as are most things for me. Had a pretty interesting time on Thanksgiving. Went to see my sister, and ate some chicken. It was cool that I was there. Then I went to Kathy's Mom's where their clan has it's usual gathering, and got pretty depressed. It was interesting how K's family seems to still accept me politely and with some affection here and there. Too bad Kathy does not. I guess it really is over between us, but there is this damnable connection that must continue bec ause we have kids. I have cried frequently over this falling apart of my family. Yet, I cannot speak to Kathy about it, because I believe she would either not understand or not care. Women are able to be the coldest creatures. Or at least the ones I pick. It's like I get what I believe I deserve. In this case a woman unable to feel any compassion or empathy particularly for those who are in some way sick, as I am. My mother unable to be physically affectionate, but compensating by being overly protective. K doesn't want to be connected to me in any way that I can tell. She's just stuck with me because of the kids. Ce la vie. Holidays under these circumstances are not very pleasant. They call up the loss. Geez this is depressing, but at least its real. S'pose that's something.

Hi, Sunday 11/9/08

Okay so we got a new President and that was a boost for ones flagging political, racial optimism. I'm in creative swing with lots of things, but very little money, no romantic relationships (not that I'm lookin or anything. No really...) I've been crushed lately by my family situation on a variety of levels, not just with my spousal unit. Still, many potentials seem to be shaping up for good entrepreneurial success. As always forever change...I'm working on gymnastics portraits of the kids. Here is the photo I took that will be the template for Liam's portrait.