Hello all, or hello me since not too many people even know about this blog yet. I say "yet" with the hope that other's will sometime read this stuff. As the monk said to the self-assured boy, "We'll see..."
Things sometimes look so bleak to me, and the world such an unfriendly place, but I often meet, or speak to someone who lifts my spirits. Tonite was such a night. I had a really good conversation with one of the John Glenn Middle School (Bedford, MA) custodians. Whatever our differences may be we found plenty of common ground in terms of how we might survive the upcoming and present troubles surrounding us all. I talked about the Michael Ben-Eli Bucky Fuller sustainability initiatives, and myself, and he told me some of his story and troubles. Our connection warmed my heart, and I hope to stay in touch with him.
Meanwhile my upcoming separation from Kathy and this house looms ever-larger filling me with many difficult and lonely decisions to make. I wish I could help Kathy to understand why I am unable to fulfill her her expectations as a husband/provider. Thus far I have failed to to find a way, and really in a variety of ways I am just beginning to understand it myself. If she could only see what I have seen with her eyes...
My heart breaks when I think of it all, but ambivalence reigns and I also feel the great need to get away from her disdain and the responsibilities of this domestic life. I truly believe that familiarity breeds contempt particularly in a small nuclear family, or as JW Bush would probably say, "the nuculer family." I have found that I feel much more affinity to a tribal kind of existence. Perhaps that's a way to go. I also resonate with Buddhist thought as well as the Mayan calender cosmology. I pray they are right and we are coming to a wonderful new paradigm in human and planetary evolution. This is to take place in 2012. I believe the beginning of that momentous shift is to commence on October 28th of that year. It's not far off so "we'll see..." More as it happens. Goodnight and best wishes to you all.

Me and Liam otherwise known as #2 son. This is the kind of guy we need in the world. Fantastic sport's talent, smart, sense of humor, good looking. I can already see he will be a babe magnet...

Ariel and Kiera my two fabulous daughters at xmas 2007. Beautiful are they not?

Okay, here is sister Carla, daughter kiera and me at xmas 2007

This is Christian, or as I like to call him #1 son, being first born. This is Xmas 2007. This is one great kid (young man)! Impressive intellect, talented, good work ethic, and now has perhaps found his calling and is going for a pysch phd. He is also an aatist! He's a little tough on himself and others, but, wow just think, I didn't totally screw him up.

need to write

Hmm, listening to Bach right now the Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, has to be one of the all-time greatest compositions ever. I'm talking history of mankind here. Bach was a rock star no doubt. It's funny how writing something here, mostly not knowing who will read it, is like writing a novel. It allows an intimacy and an anonymity that does not happen in other forms. I know some of the folks who read it are close to me and that makes me a little more circumspect about what I say, but not too much. Anyway, it's early am and I am, as usual, not asleep. I think I wanna post some images.

This is a still from a movie project I am working on with John Thordarson's Tribal Films entitled, "Ninth Circle" (working title). This is an action movie short, and we think it could be really good. I am hoping that we can finish shooting this year. In addition to co-authoring the script, I wrote the dialog, I have a featured part (Colonel Ockham ), and I shot some aerial footage during the shoot of our big battle scene. That was sick! A great opportunity with some good results for the film. I was doing the whole thing with one foot hanging out of the chopper and a gyro-stabilizer attached to the camera.

These are my two beautiful 8 year old twins. Liam and Kiera

Life goes on within me and without me

Well, I am in the midst of so many changes it is hard to know what to put here first. My wife and I are going to do a trial separation starting July 1st. I've got no place to live yet, and no money to speak of. Urrk...Meanwhile, I am hoping to return to school and continue my film, art/music and sustainability work. I sometimes just stop and look at the beauty around me, (trees, grass, flowers, people, sunshine, breathing, just being alive, etc). It calms me. I am posting some of my new photographs, and I hope to have some of my video pieces up soon. So dear reader, whoever you may be, I hope all is well with you.